Have we all got our positivity pants on?

It’s been a little while since I last came here to spout out ramblings about my life non coherently. Still, I guess I started to arrive back at the “normal” station again these past couple of months. Going to work after school drop off and worrying about menial things like how I wished I hadn’t have left the washing out when I left. The sun just loves to put his hat on first thing in the morning only to be bitterly traitorous further in the day.

I’ve also been working hard on assignments for the open university degree I half-heartedly took on late last year. Turns out, it’s not half-hearted at all and is, in fact, one of the most challenging but most enthralling things I’ve ever done! Most recently, I have been learning how to write academically…Something I clearly lack the skill of at the moment. Most feedback I receive is that I often put unnecessary words into my essays…Yep, that’s me hun. Unnecessary and full of pointless information.

Another exciting development in my own personal psyche is that I’ve come out this past year with a new view on life. The moments I do now have spare, I really appreciate. After school drop off this morning, I took my pig/dog up to a local church nearby to me, and it’s honestly the most beautiful, peaceful place. I just sat taking in the sounds, view and could literally feel my brain slowing down. It’s quite a new feeling for me to sit and do this, and I’m thoroughly enjoying it.

Babworth Church – My secret happy place.
My Pig/Dog

I recently had a catch-up appointment with my doctor following the pandemic to check in on how my mental well-being was. Quite often, I can be fine for months, but a few weeks ago, I could feel a familiar darkness creeping up on me. I was waking up at 3/4am, unable to sleep and feeling like I needed to hoover, sitting in the garden in the rain (yeah, weird, I know), online spending, and doing a lot of staring into space in despair… Basically, early symptoms of a breakdown from previous experience. So instead of letting this manifest, I told my other half, who immediately got me on the phone to my GP. He upped me to 40mg of fluoxetine, which started kicking in. I’m feeling much more positive I can keep a handle on things that completely overwhelm me.

I’m grateful that only this time last year I don’t think I would have the tools to notice when something doesn’t feel quite right and that now I’m almost, dare I say it,…In control. If only I could control the amount of food that I shove in my gob…

Fat Cow.

When I began this blog, I had high expectations of upbeat stories of adventures I had been on or funny anecdotes to tell. The reality is, the whole past year has basically been one fat slob fest for me. I’m starting to liken myself to a potato.

I’m now what one would call “between jobs” …again. I decided that the travel industry just wasn’t quite doing it for me anymore. The vibe got me turning that frown upside down, so I began my favorite hobby of job searching. Does anybody else have a similar hobby? I also enjoy logging on to Rightmove and giving myself a pretend budget of £500k to buy a posh house. Sometimes I’ll even go to London to ‘rent’ extortionately expensive apartments no bigger than my maternity pants. This isn’t even Lockdown-induced behavior, by the way.

My newest employment within an Electric and Plumbers company local to me has the hours any mum could only dream of. Every week the SAME three shifts. Tues, Weds, Thurs.. from 9am-3pm. A dream literally made to fit around the school run. Yes, my daughter will become a part of school society again as I unashamedly got on the phone with them as soon as I got offered the job. I’ve had numerous jobs, but this felt a step in the right direction. I can now work and run my university course alongside it, giving me the whole weekend to nag, cry, and moan to my other half to my heart’s content.

I’m currently having the issue that I’ve got to actually get off my arse? No, really, it’s presently a genuine problem. I’ve fallen victim to lazy parenting, lazy tidying, cooking, and cleaning, and now I can rarely be arsed to even fart. I used to punish myself for sitting and relaxing, it never felt right, and now I can’t get enough! I’ve watched all these programs basically non-stop for the last three weeks—all of which I HIGHLY recommend.

  • The Office (UK)
  • RuPaul’s drag race ALL 160 episodes of.
  • ITV’s “The Bay”
  • the Crown. (Man, that’s long)

I’ve also fully immersed myself into podcasts whilst cleaning (well, attempting to) but one I must mention is ‘Morbid’ which basically is quite self explanatory and I would recommend if you enjoy light hearted true crime and Ghost stories. The girls who do this podcast have me actually LOLLING out loud.

I do wonder when all this madness will end but I wonder more if we will suddenly miss the isolation lifestyle?

FINAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY

Today, I was putting some washing away and realized that I no longer have a t-shirt drawer? I have two pyjama and “loungewear” drawers? I honestly can’t remember the day that this happened but it felt like a pinnacle moment of my life. Another pinnacle was that I IRONED, yes IRONED three sets of flannel pyjamas yesterday? Please judge because I sure am.