Balls deep into 2021

I’ll start by congratulating us all to getting beyond 2020. Things can only go up from here right?! The year we just left behind can literally go and take its head for a shit. We’ve lost loved ones, jobs, money and our sanity but we are all still here to fight another day..and another lockdown. Cheers again Bozza.

I’m interested to hear how you spent your New years eve ? Myself and my partner decided we were going to throw it right back to the noughties and get high because well, ya know, 2020… unfortunately, getting high on a small about of cannabis is absolutely NOT the same now as it was 10 plus years ago. We both stood outside at 12oclock puffing away on the saddest looking excuse of a Billy bifta you ever did see, seeing the new year in with a glazy eyed clink of our pop bottles only to fall asleep drooling on the sofa. Not quite how I imagined it but nevermind.

Anyway..

The one thing I do feel I can look back and reflect on is the time I spent in my own head during 2020. Through all the shit the year threw at us all I honestly feel ive “found” myself (whatever that means) I know what I want now and the things I like and don’t like. I took abit of time out to get to know me! There were, of course a few wobbles on the way to this magical light bulb moment. One funny realisation is that I actually hate working with the general public which is hilarious as that is literally all I bang on about on my CV. Making out I love talking to customers and making them happy… I actually don’t. I love to help people but I dont think its by selling them a holiday to the Canaries. I want to actually HELP people. People who feel lost? People who need abit of guidance. People like me?

I’m aiming high guys. I’ve gone all in and signed up to a Open University course studying Psychology. The course is 4 years long which is usually on average two employment lengths for me so its kinda a big deal but im determined! Something feels right about this path, something I’ve never quite felt before? I’m 32 years old and I may finally know what I want to do in life!

THE LAPTOPS OUT READY FOR ACTION!

So im talking all the talk but will I walk the walk? Well thats the age old question of somebody with impulsive tendencies. This could be one of the many many MANY things I’ve obsessed over in the past, invested all my thought into and spent time and money organising.. only for it to vaporise into thin air one day when I get “bored”

I’m not sure this time though ya know, I’ve got a good feeling about this one.

Wishing you all a Happy, prosperous and safe New year.

When 2020 decided to kick me in the vadge.

I’m so ranty today. So angry and frustrated. Worried and anxious all in one. Im sat at my computer waiting for Boris Johnson to release his bowels on us once more at 8pm. One minute we are all “eating out to help out”..the next.. NO more than 6 people in one space! Except work…and the pub.

The world is going mad and so are the people in it. My own personal mental wellbeing has been pretty fair and stable for some time now. Definitely figured out the best medication/vitamin concoction that works for me and also how much sleep I need but one thing that keeps niggling at me is the fucking uncertainty in everything. Like for example, imagine being pregnant in the current climate, what kind of world are we bringing these kids into (alone, may I add as apparently fathers are way more dangerous to the pandemic attending appointments with you than Billy bob down the pub who licks the windows.) its insane.

My job is currently a shower of shit. Travel is getting hit HARD by all this and all we can do is sit by (often colouring whilst waiting for customers to step foot in the shop) and watch the situation snowball.

Today has been shit. I always try my best to think of the positives I can take from each day and of course I have the usual gratitude’s such as my health and my daughter but what I’m struggling with is the mantra I have always sworn by. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. because does it?

I guess tomorrow is another day, another day in 2020 modern England. Put on your happy faces guys.