I’ve been trying to work out recently if I have some kind of disorder that makes me need to regularly have something wrong with me? In which case, I’m about to out myself as a hypochondriac, so Hold on to ya butts.
In general, I appear to have a reasonably good hold on my life. I’m very self-aware nowadays and can manage the depressive and anxious times well with just the odd minor blip. BUT it is infrequent for me to be 100percent. There’s always some kind of ailment or illness to contend with. This week it was a wisdom tooth that I had convinced myself was growing horizontally and was about to EXPLODE out of my face. In reality, I just grind my teeth at night, and it’s nothing to worry about. But to get this reassurance, I took a very unnecessary ’emergency’ appointment to the dentist after plenty of deep dive google searches of horrifying pictures of “teeth gone wrong” In conclusion… I am a massive attention seeker. But why?
As I am now a student of Psychology #feelingposh, I’m hoping to figure out why plenty of people like me and I do this kind of attention-seeking behavior. I’m a relatively independent soul in typical day-to-day life, so why the constant neediness? I google everything from why my eye twitches when I’m tired to if there’s a severe condition when I overeat. I once convinced myself I had Prada Willi syndrome* because I literally could not stop shoveling food in my gob one day.
I do know I’m not the only one like this. Although I’m outing myself as a great big needy attention-seeking knob, I see a handful of people that really are not aware they do this. It can manifest into a terrible illness called Munchausen’s syndrome which can be highly complex but, in basic terms, is when somebody fabricates stories of disease and sometimes even goes as far as intentionally makes themselves poorly by exposing themselves to bacteria and rubbing dirt in wounds. Really not nice and worrying for everybody involved. As I am talking about this, I recommend a great watch on Hulu called the Act (See link below) about a mother who has an illness called Munchausen’s BY PROXY. It manifests as her convincing herself of her daughter having all sorts of conditions. It’s based on a true story and is a wild ride but shows the dangers of the disease in its worst glory.
Anyway, I’m not sure this was the direction I wanted this blog post to go but there we go but I just love to ramble!
A rare congenital condition characterized by excessive appetite, often leading to morbid obesity.
Note- I am in no way poking fun at the disability, I genuinely thought I had it (big sigh and eye roll)https://www.hulu.com/series/the-act-8cc910fe-b59e-46a5-9966-16c4e0ed208d