“A person who has impulsive personality disorder is charming and good at being the centre of attention. In fact, this kind of person thrives on receiving attention. He or she might be highly adventurous – even to the point of engaging in dangerous behaviour – but this person is often also superficial”
The above is Google’s answer. To be honest, this description could be said for a lot of people I know without needing any kind of special diagnosis. Its very true, but very simply described. The reality is a lot more complex often with similar symptoms to that of Bi-polar. Highs and lows that switch like a light. The impossible feeling of needing somebody but at the exact same time wanting them to leave you alone. the phrase “Go away, don’t leave” is horrifyingly relatable to me and my poor partner.
A short background story
There have been many tell tale signs over the years leading to this diagnosis which I will go more into in other posts but one thing that stands out to me is the little pity parties I have for myself and how I rarely take accountability for my actions. I wallow in self pity and dwell on past events that cant be changed. I am MASSIVLEY manipulative to make things go in my favour and sulk if they don’t. Bad traits I know (sigh) but on the flip side my mind is a hive of activity, I overthink everything but this also lets my mind delve into areas not everyone else’s does. I consider details. I am OBSESSIVE.
Regular brain – I see the bird in the tree. nice.
My brain – I see the bird in the tree and now I need to know what species it is, what habitat it usually lives in and what sound it makes. (This is this followed up with online investigations to get the answer)
I’m not even entirely sure this is even connected to the disorder or whether this is just how my brain works but I think it mainly boils down to the busy brain. The cogs going round constantly.
Impulsive personality is actually just a subtype of Borderline Personality Disorder which in all honesty is a massively under researched illness. It makes me sad when I read or hear of stories of people that clearly showed all the signs and were ignored or misdiagnosed.
if you already feel like you can relate to the above here are some more signs and symptoms –
- Flirtatious with others, sometimes without even realizing it.
- Captivating, able to act with a natural magnetism.
- Elusive and mercurial.
- Superficial, easily entertaining others on a surface level but avoiding more meaningful interactions or relationships.
- High levels of energy and easily bored.
- Thrill-seeking and risk-taking behaviour’s without regard for consequences.
- Attention-seeking behaviour’s.
- Charismatic and charming.
- Highly manipulative of others, particularly in order to position oneself as the centre of attention.
- Complaints of chronic or recurring illness.